Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The blue sky


I enjoyed walking in the Central Park on Friday.
The blue sky was beautiful.
It was beautiful by itself.
But it was more beautiful with its friends.

Its friends are:
White clouds,
Green trees,
Waters,
Fields,
And people playing softball in the fields.

They were beautiful altogether.


You can be good by yourself.
But you can be better with your loved ones:
Your family, your friends, and the nature around you.
We cannot live alone.
We are the ones to help each other.

This past week, I was helped a lot.
On Tuesday, Pastor Ieva was not there,
I had to make an announcement at the lunch dining room.
After saying, "Pastor Ieva is not here today. So I have an announcement, we are having a Bible Study from 1:30 at the Adult Daycare center. Everyone is welcome. Please come and join us!", a patient said something, which I cound catch. Then surprisingly, more than few people started to speak up one after another, "It's the first floor." "Cross the hall way!" "At the next building." like that. I recognized he asked "where is it?" and I was so impressed that everyone helped me so enthusiastically.

Later in the Bible Study, the substitute pastor started to sing a hymn which I didn't know. A resident , my piano student, approached me in her wheel chair and whispered, "This is xxxx!" She told me the title. So I could search it by the Index and started to play the piano with them.

On Wednesday, we had a missionary service in the morning. Ieva was at the meeting. So there were the piainist missionary and me in the service. It meant I was the only person standing in front of the people. Mostly, the pianist led the service but I didn't know what to do at first. Before the service, I went to each floor's day room to see if anyone was interested in joining the service. My piano student was in one of the day room. I asked, "Are you coming to Church?" She answered, "No. I'm not coming today. I'm tired so I'm having a rest today." I said, "Pastor is at the meeting. So there will be the pianist and me. " And she asked the next question, "So, who will give the preach?" I said, "I don't know. Just two of us.... It's my first time. so...." Then she said, "OK, then, I'll come. I think I can help you in some ways." How lovely she is! In the service, she gave us prayer, testimony. Stanging in front of the people during the service, I felt warm atmosphere there. I saw warm beautiful smile toward me when I asked them if they had something to say or sing.

I didn't help them but I was helped. And I thought it was so beautiful.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

strange or interesting English terms


When you say the train, it means a series of cars. Cars? People call it a car? It should be a train! It runs on a railroad, not on the street......! It sounds me strange.

For me, a conductor is a person who leads music in an orchestra. But a conductor can be a person who is in charge of a train. Interesting!

When people ask me, "You weren't there, are you?", and if he or she was correct, I have to say "No." or "No I wasn't." It's difficult for me because I agree with his or her idea. I'd be about to say "Yes, that's right!" But it's wrong. English is difficult!


Today, we talked about food over lunch. A resident started to talk about "Cream Soda". I know, I think. If I say Cream Soda in my country, it means green soda with ice cream on the top. But it's different here. She said cream soda is not contained ice cream!

Also we talked about Egg Cream. Surprisingly, it doesn't contain Egg nor Cream! See here.

My life here is always exciting because I find new things every day!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

An old radio in my room


When I moved here, the radio was in the kitchen. My landowner said, "You can move anything anywhere as you like." There is a TV in the kitchen so I moved the radio to my cozy room. As you know, I'm a radio person. I love this radio. Listening to the classic old radio everyday, I feel like being in an old time in America.

My fourth week at the nursing home

Hi there!
I moved to a new place last Sunday. Now I've been trying to settle down here. My new place is in Upper west side of Manhattan, 5 minutes from the nearest subway station. it takes me 1 hour and 15 minutes to commute to the nursing home, not so bad. So it couldn't be better. I think I'm lucky.


On Monday, it was a "same-question day".
People I met all asked me the same question, "How was you mother's day?" ummmm. Yes, we have Mother's day in Japan. But it's different here. On Sunday, restaurants are full of reservations, full of mothers and children. Flower shops are full of flowers, much more than usual. Many people traveled to mothers' place on the weekend. And Monday, everybody asks the same question, "How was your mother's day?" I had nothing special. I wrote a letter to my mom who lives in Japan. Actually it was my first time. I don't celebrate Mother's day, Father's day or even our own birthdays. We would bring some gifts when we visit our parents but don't celebrate the particular days. Here, everyone seems to do the same. Shops, restaurants encourage people to do the same. What if you don't have mother? What if you don't have any woman in your family? What if you hate your mother? It made me think a lot. I myself don't have father. Well, I have father so I was born. But I don't know my father's face because my parents got divorced when I was a small baby. Then I lived with my mother for a few month and started to live with mother's friends one after another. My mother didn't and doesn't want me to meet my father, to ask questions about my father. Now I'm glad because I have my father, who is my husband's father. OK, I'd tell about him when I'm asked about my father on Father's day, next month.


On Tuesday, originally we have Bible Study in the afternoon, from 1:30PM. Ieva told me that second Tuesday is special because we have Salvation Army people coming over and they do the Bible Study from 11AM. But a problem is they hadn't come here for the past two months and the contact staff can't contact them since the last time they came. So Ieva was asked to do it in case of they didn't come.

They didn't appear as we expected. We were going to do it from 11AM. Just before then, a phone call rang. It was from a nursing staff. They said they want to do a game instead of Bible study from 11. Ieva told me that the reason might have been a number of non-English speakers are there, so they wanted to choose one that was easy to understand for them. Bible study schedule was changed to 1:30, turned back to the very original schedule, hummmm.

On Thursday, we had a church service in the afternoon, from 2:15. Again I realized how difficult it was to prepare for it in advance. We expected a man coming. He used to be here as a resident. He became well and now lives another facilities where you can go out freely. He said he was coming. Everybody who knew him was looking forward to hear from him. He didn't come.

We expected another woman. We prepared a special scripture phrase typed and photocopied to share the phrase. She didn't come.

We expected a woman who told us she would bring her relative baby. We thought everybody would love to see the baby. She didn't show up.

I know they had respectable reasons. But I realized the difficulty of preparation.

However, we had a very good time. Some of the resident had their family visiting them. It was crowded in the service. For the first time, I sang "The Lord's prayer" with everyone. The song has wide range of notes from low till high-G. I was so glad to see everyone's shining eyes as I conduct them to sing together, standing in front of the piano.

After all, we were had a blessed time altogether!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

My third week at the nursing home 5th-8th May

Time flies! It's already Friday. I'll talk about my third week at the nursing home.

On Monday, I joined the Yoga class held on the 3rd floor for the first time. It was good. Stretching, meditation..... The instructor's words made me so calm.

After Yoga, I went up to the 4th and said hello to the residents there. I noticed that a woman who remembered my name on my first day seemed a little bit down. She told me she was going to have a medical test today and was not happy about it. I couldn't say anything sweet for her but just hold her hands. She seemed not willing to talk.

Later, Ieva came into the room. I talked Ieva about the woman. Ieva approached her and started to talk. So I started to talk with another woman who was sitting down next to the woman. The another woman talked me so many things, starting with her teeth problem and then going on to some problem with her roommate. I tried to understand her situation, but her way of speaking was unclear to me, so I could understand just a part of the stories. I looked at Ieva, she seemed to finish her conversation with the lack spirit woman. I said, "Ieva help me!". She started to talk with the complaining woman. I felt useless again. It always happens. I had to be strong with it, I knew. But I couldn't.

I turned toward the lack spirit woman, saying, "Can I be with you?" She said, "Yes, what's the matter with you?" I didn't know why and I think it was so funny in some ways but.... I started to cry in front of her! "I want to understand what people are saying, but most of the time I can't. It makes me so sad. On Sunday, I meet many people and talk with some people and I feel I can't speak, I can't listen.... or something. And now, I wanted to understand the woman's words but I couldn't. I'm....." Then I became speechless. I was too weak! It's no good.

Then our roles suddenly changed. She started to encourage me and I cried in her arms. She said, "Stop crying. Look!" I looked her, and found her eyes got filled with tears. I apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'll be OK. And I think, I believe YOU'll be OK, too, right?" The woman said, "Yes!" A few minutes later she went to the hospital. I touched her hand at the last moment she left.




On Tuesday, when I went to the fourth floor dining room, the woman first talked to me so happily, "I had no problem with the test!!!!" I said, "Oh I feel very very happy for you!" We felt happy together!


As for services, I knew I'm not the regular pianist for Wednesday and Thursday. Maybe it' was my fault. Because of my lack of English ability, I miss Ieva's explanation sometimes. For my first two weeks, I had a roll of playing the piano in every religious services so I thought no other regular pianist were there. I was wrong.

On Wednesday, a ministry woman came and played and sang beautifully. Ieva explained to me that they usually are a team of two or three people. On my first Wednesday, they supposed to come but didn't appear so Ieva did the service. Then I was given the opportunity to play the piano.

On Thursday, another beautiful pianist came. Ieva later explained to me that she comes to the nursing home a few times a month but not decided how many times.

I think I can learn a lot of things from the pianists. Yes, I'm lucky.

However, on these two days, I had a little bit hard time because I didn't know somebody else would come to play and sing in advance. It means I couldn't have time for my mental preparedness. Without music notes, I can't sing any hymns. It's my problem. I want to learn English hymns while I'm here. It'd be good opportunity to learn English hymns, too.



I have my weaknesses. A lot.
I am not good at standing out. I'm not good at entertaining people. Even though, occasionally, I do MC at concerts, conduct a choir, sing in front of audience, or play the piano, I have to confess I'm a shy person. I know it might be strange to some people. But it's true. I just love music. I love doing music with people. I love being among people. I'd be grateful if I could help people feel comfortable when they sing, when they play instruments. For those reasons, I've been doing music or other things.

I see all people who lead the religious services here are great! I want to be more confident, more strong, tougher, more tolerant, flexible........ I have a lot of challenges in this great opportunity.

I want to be better next week, and the next week...... I know God always help me even though I'm not a hard practicing Christian. I learned many things this week. Thank you, everyone, who I have been with.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

It's going to be a memorable day: Thursday, May 1st

My pastor, Ieva, allowed me to use her name here. So I'll call her "Ieva", instead of "my pastor" from now on. Thank you, Ieva!


One of the special things about today is.... we had our lunch out! Ieva, a social worker intern (who has been here for the past 8 months and will finish her work this Friday), and I had time together. We went to a Caribbean restaurant. Ieva and I had a chicken soup, which is her favorite, and the intern woman had chicken & beans with rice. There were chicken, pastas, and potatoes in the soup. It was sooooo yummy!

On the way back to our Home, Ieva stopped at a corner and said to me, "Naoko, you'll see the school? Do you remember the time I told you about my dream of bringing children to our nursing home?" Yes, I remember, I said. If a group of children visited our nursing home regularly, even if a few children, it'd be great! We could organize a family! We should visit there as soon as possible and ask teachers if they could organize a day visit to our nursing home and if possible, regularly.... We need more people to be there, just being there.

Then the social worker intern started to talk about her wonderful idea of bringing graduate students or university study groups to our Home, who study history. Our residents have a lot of precious historical records in their memory, in their brains, in their minds. Unfortunately, most of the precious memories are vanishing away. So it's urgent to get their memory recorded. They are having their last days, sadly to say. They are willing to talk. In fact their condition is unstable sometimes. You often have to wait until it becomes better. But it's worth waiting. I liked her idea! I deeply wish her idea becomes realized. Also I wish I could have knowledge of American history and could understand the preciousness.... I want to understand their words more...

The intern woman was today's guest in our service. Everybody there gave her warm comments, which made me moved a lot. It was such a beautiful scene that she greeted to everyone as she left the room. Warm atmosphere was filled with the room.

Almost at the end of the service, Ieva asked me to sing a song for her. I happened to have my favorite song's sheet "In Everything" with me so I sang the song as I played the piano part. I think it was a new song to everyone but they seemed to enjoy it. I was so glad when they sang with me by humming for the refrain part!

You should praise the Lord, not only in good times, but also bad times. The song tells us. Yes, it's true.

After the service, another special thing happened!
I started a piano lesson with a resident. I first met her at our lunch table. We often have lunch together at the same table. One day she told me that her dream is to learn how to play the piano until she dies. "I want to do it until I die"... When I heard her words, I was so moved. My heart ached. And then I felt so glad that I am here and could help make her dream realized. Today, we had the first lesson! She loved "In everything". So we used the music and started to learn the melody. I think we really enjoyed our time together. We are going to have our lessons every Thursday. I'm sure she will be a great pianist because she is eager to learn everything and always a hard-worker. I hope she stays good as long as possible so that she could learn many things about music and anything else!

When our lesson was finished, she said, "you are a good teacher!" and I said, "You are an excellent student, too!" We were sooooo happy that we hugged each other tightly!

I think, I would think back of this day in the future, on our recital day perhaps? , and would say "Oh, it was the first day of our lesson..... what a memorable day it was!"

Monday, May 5, 2008

Today is another day: Tuesday, April 29th

It was a fruitful day today! I brought several traditional Japanese toys, such as Origami, Otedama, and Ohajiki. We keep them into the box. We could use it someday. Also I had an idea. I wanted to play the piano for the residents while they are waiting for lunch. I talked about it to my pastor. She loved my idea!

We have Bible study every Tuesday afternoon. Today's topic was "trinity". So my pastor prepared two songs, both which have words "Holy, Holy, Holy". She asked me to play them in the Bible study. Also she had an idea. Her song file was filled with music copies. She'd been wanting to sort them out. Her idea was to involve some of the residents to help us sort them out. What a great idea! They could feel they are useful and helpful. I loved her idea!

It was a really creative day. We thought of many things previous night at our houses being away from each other. After a tough time, a good time definitely comes, right?

After the short meeting, we went up to the forth floor. They were playing a bingo game. We anyway started to sort the music sheets. One after another, the residents gathered to our table and gave us their great helping hands. As we were doing, we chatted like, "What is you favorite hymn?" "Do you like this song?" "Do you know this song?" and so on.

After clean up time, my turn came. My pastor told me to play the two songs which we were going to sing in the Bible study. We opened the door to the church space. I started to play the hymns. The residents seemed to love the sounds. After the two hymns, I continued to play. The residents sometimes sang with me, other times just listened to it, or a residents asked me to play her favorite hymn "The Old Rugged Cross." I was so delighted to receive her request!

We had quick lunch and then went to the adult health care center building, where the Bible study was held. The atmosphere was totally different from the nursing home. Younger people were there. Some were chatting, some were just sitting, some were playing a board game or something. We used a part of the recreation room. My pastor asked me to play the hymns while preparation was going on. I played them and then moved on to other pieces. I felt people's welcoming loves from behind while I was playing. It was so lovely.

At the beginning of the Bible study, my pastor introduced me to the people. "This is Naoko. She is from Japan. She is a sort of interesting woman because she came here just to work as a volunteer for a whole year!"

And then the people clapped hands and said, "Oh how wonderful! I'm sure she will not only give her loves but get a lot of loves here!" "Yes, sure!" like that. I was so happy to hear their words. Yes, I am so sure I'll get lots of loves from these people!

When the Bible study was over, a staff came up to me and said, "I want to introduce you to a person over there. I think he is Japanese, too." I was introduced to a boy(I don't know his age but assume in his 20's) who was surely a Asian but I was not sure if he was a Japanese. The staff told me his name, which sounded like Chinese name to me. I tried to speak to him in Japanese. He seemed not to able to understand my words. I know only two greeting words in Mandarin. I said, "Ni Hao!" ("hello" in Mandarin). He greeted me back saying, "Ni hao!" How wonderful! Another expression I know is "Shei Shei" ("Thank you"). I said the words and he said the same thing! I thought I wanted to know more Chinese words so I could communicate with him. I think the staff had no idea of how to communicate with him. I don't know if any Chinese staff working at the adult health care section. Maybe not? He seemed so lonely. I want to do something for him while I'm here. Maybe we could learn English together. I could write some of the Chinese characters so we might be able to communicate by writing. Isn't it a good idea? Yes!

Then my pastor, other two religious leaders (both of them were at the service last week and wonderful singers!) and myself went back to the fourth floor again. My pastor asked us to organize a choir! We started to practice several hymns. Soon some of the residents gathered together and sang with us. One of them sat the piano chair with me. I could feel her warmth of hearts from her singing voice.

It was such a fruitful day! Time went by so fast. When everything was done, my pastor told me to have a day off on Wednesday since there would be no religious service that day due to the residents counsel meeting. I felt a little bit tired so I said "Thank you! I'll then take a day off tomorrow." What a thoughtful pastor I have!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

My first Monday at the nursing home: April 28th

It was raining heavily. On my way to the nursing home, I was thinking that it'd be much harder for me to commute there in winter or mid summer, but keeping going there was my most important thing to do because the residents could trust me that I'm always there.

It was my first Monday being there. On Mondays, we don't have any religious service with my pastor, which means I wouldn't have anything to do, like playing the piano or singing. Besides, my pastor was not there in the morning. The receptionist was different. I introduced myself to her. Then she let me go through. When I went to my pastor's office, the door was locked. I opened the door and put my things there and went up to my main working place, the 4th floor. The volunteer worker was different from the last week's. So I introduced myself to her. She was a nice person. They were playing a bingo game as usual. I said hello to the people and tried to have a conversation with one of them but it didn't last long.... and I joined the game anyway. At 11:00, it was teatime. The volunteer woman and I served cranberry juice and cookies to the residents. After serving them, we go back to the bingo game. During the game, a staff came up and moved a resident woman in a wheelchair to practice walking. I followed them to the hall thinking if there was anything I could do. Then the staff asked me "Who are you?". I had to introduce myself again. Honestly, there are so many people there so it's difficult for me to recognize whom I've met already, and whom I haven't. It makes me feel insecure sometimes. I realised how much I depended on my pastor. Without her existence, people couldn't recognize me as even a volunteer. I can be a stranger for them. All the staff have their own name holder but volunteers don't. It might be the reason why..... I don't know.

Then at noon, it was clean-up time. We should have moved all tables to the original places and all the residents to their seats. I didn't remember the tables' layout or the residents' seats. I could just ask the volunteer where to be. I felt I was really useless. But my joy was when I didn't know the trick of how to move the table(somehow to put out the wheels) and then I finally could move it, one of the residents winked at me saying "congratulations, Naoko!". Her words really made me happy!

After the clean-up time, it was a kind of boring time. We had nothing to do. Just waiting for lunch served. I tried to talk with some of the residents, about today's menu "Shepherd's pie", but it didn't last long.... I felt useless again!

My pastor finally showed up a few minutes after noon. I felt so glad when I saw her at the entrance of the dining room! I asked her if I could get a name holder. She promised me to try to get it. Kind of her!

At lunchtime, my pastor told me about an article on the NYT, "At 60, He Learned to Sing So He Could Learn to Talk"
It is about so called "Melodic Intonation Therapy", which might give a chance to people who'd had a brain disease and lost their speech ability by singing a simple song again and again, then saying a lyric again and again. I thought it'd be great to the residents here who lost their speech ability somehow. I hope I could help these people some time during I'm here.

At our lunch table there was another resident who told me about her dream. "I want to learn how to play the piano until I die." Her words moved me a lot. I really hoped we could have piano lessons as soon as possible. I assume she is in her 80's and has diabetes. I want to give her hope. I want to have a great time with her!

After lunch, my pastor and I visited the individual rooms one after another. There were a lot of other people who I hadn't met yet. Some are connected with lots of tubes from machines. Those people can't move at all. Just laying down on their bed all day. Some were conscious, some were not..... It made me sooooo sad. But I have to accept it and think positively even if it's a sad thing. I want to think their lives are filled with happiness. I really want to think that. I touched their faces and bodies when I was allowed to do it. Some people refused to take a picture with me, but it's OK because they have a right to say NO to everything. It was their room, their own house.

After my work on the day, I had time to talk with my pastor alone. I felt so weak then.... So I told about my weakness to her. About my sense of insecurity, lack of confidence with my English (both speaking and listening abilities), and everything. She understood me deeply. I was glad to be able to talk about my feeling.

On the way back home, I had a little of tears in my eyes. I didn't know why. I shouldn't have felt like that. It was a good day. But I couldn't stop myself getting down a bit. Maybe I felt sad for something, I felt sorry for something. For what? I don't know. In a deep place of my heart, I felt something dark. Now I feel I want to make the "something" bright. I really want to do it.

At night, I got two e-mails from my friends. Both were sooooooo happy e-mails. I felt much better after reading the warm mails. Thanks to God. I'm saved by something every time I feel down. I'm the luckiest person in the world! Tomorrow is another day!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

My first two days at the nursing home

Today is my day off! The pastor at the nursing home, who I'm working for, gave me a day off because there is no religious service today!

My days at the nursing home is going pretty well, I think. I'm in the pastoral care section. I became a regular pianist at their religious services, Tuesday 1:15 Bible Study, Wednesday 11:00 missionary service, Thursday 2:15 missionary service. My regular work hours are 11AM to 4PM, Monday through Thursday. I can get free lunch, I'm very happy about it! The nursing home is consisted of two parts, the nursing home and the adult daycare center. So lots of different people are living there, or coming there to get meal or rehabilitation or recreation. 120 residents live there, 150 staff works there, not including volunteers.

Now, I will try to write my first two days at the nursing home last week. It was much more than that, but I'll try to focus on the main topics!


On my first day at the nursing home, all things went quite amazingly well! I helped the pastor in her service. Before the service started, she left the church room and told me to play some music for the preparation for the opening. So I played one of the hymns with the piano. I was so surprised that the residents started to sing along my piano!!! When I finished playing, they said so happily, "I liked it! Oh, You can play the piano! Play it again! We can sing it again!" Then I played it again and this time I too sang with the piano. And then they shouted "You can sing and play the piano at the same time! How about it?" or something like that. I was soooooo happy to hear their words! I had lunch with them, and then made a chat with some of them at the Patio outside. A cherry tree bloomed in full!

I loved all of the people. They said my name again and again to remember it and some asked me to write it down! It was such a lovely time with them. However I have to admit it was so much to do in one day, so now I feel little bit tired when I got home. I think I'll get used to everything gradually!

I talked with my pastor and we decided my work hour. I work there from Monday through Thursday, 4 days a week, from 11AM to 4PM. She is so kind that she advised me to avoid rush hours. On Fridays I'm free, so I can have a long weekend! I think I want to help somehow for church on weekends, not every weekend maybe, so it'd be good for me to have a day off on every Friday!



On my second day at the nursing home, it was more amazing than the first day. On Thursdays, there is a service in the afternoon, from 2:15. I was surprised to see 4 pastors and an assistant pastor were there! Except my pastor, who is from Latvia, all ministers were black people. A male pastor wore a two-piece, one of the wemen pastor wore a nice dress, and another woman in a beautiful some African country's ethnic costume. We sang hymns sometimes by accapella other times with my piano. Someone started to sing or pray spontaneously, then my pastor brought a microphone to the person to get all people's attention. The atmosphere was filled with wonderful spirits. Especially, I was so impressed with the music. I know traditional hymns but the pastors sang the music very differently! They call it "jazzy!" I think I could learn their music while I'm here!

After the service, we talked with the residents who were in the room (a part of the dining room on 4th floor is used as church and after the service the partition is closed and the rest of the room is back to the dining room). My pastor and I noticed a woman lying down at the very back of the room. She was so thin and her knees bended unnaturally. I spoke to her "How are you?" She answered me, "Well, Ma'am." Her voice was so small and in high tone that I could barely catch.

There were her daughter and her great granddaughter beside her in silent. My pastor asked her daughter what is her favorite hymn. The daughter answered, "Amazing grace." My pastor brought a hymn book and we started to sing together. Surprisingly, the resident hummed with us and then sang with the words a little bit! Then other two women pastors came and join us one after another. For the next an hour, it was a small concert just for her! We sang one hymn and another as we talk with her. Her memory seemed to go forth and back. She talked about her girlhood like, "Before church, my mom say, wear clean cloth!, be nice! and I made many little girlfriends there. The pastor welcome me!" I couldn't catch all of her words but she seemed she was just in her childhood. She continued to talk. Her voice became bigger and bigger, which amazed me a lot!

Then I noticed her daughter started to cry, which made me cry. I just let my tears go down. Ten minutes later, I noticed her great granddaughter started to cry also. I stretched my left hand toward her in the back of the chair. The small girl grabbed my hand strongly. I asked her how old she was. She is 10, going to school, she answered. I thought I wanted to talk with her then. We started to chat at the back of the resident's chair as I was sitting on the floor. We talked about Japan, Japanese animation TV program, her Japanese friend. We became friends! I said to her, "Come again and talk! OK?" She said, "Yes!"

After one hour, as we left the room, the resident fell into sleep so peacefully! How amazing!

There are much more things to want to tell. But maybe next time!