My third week at the nursing home 5th-8th May

Time flies! It's already Friday. I'll talk about my third week at the nursing home.

On Monday, I joined the Yoga class held on the 3rd floor for the first time. It was good. Stretching, meditation..... The instructor's words made me so calm.

After Yoga, I went up to the 4th and said hello to the residents there. I noticed that a woman who remembered my name on my first day seemed a little bit down. She told me she was going to have a medical test today and was not happy about it. I couldn't say anything sweet for her but just hold her hands. She seemed not willing to talk.

Later, Ieva came into the room. I talked Ieva about the woman. Ieva approached her and started to talk. So I started to talk with another woman who was sitting down next to the woman. The another woman talked me so many things, starting with her teeth problem and then going on to some problem with her roommate. I tried to understand her situation, but her way of speaking was unclear to me, so I could understand just a part of the stories. I looked at Ieva, she seemed to finish her conversation with the lack spirit woman. I said, "Ieva help me!". She started to talk with the complaining woman. I felt useless again. It always happens. I had to be strong with it, I knew. But I couldn't.

I turned toward the lack spirit woman, saying, "Can I be with you?" She said, "Yes, what's the matter with you?" I didn't know why and I think it was so funny in some ways but.... I started to cry in front of her! "I want to understand what people are saying, but most of the time I can't. It makes me so sad. On Sunday, I meet many people and talk with some people and I feel I can't speak, I can't listen.... or something. And now, I wanted to understand the woman's words but I couldn't. I'm....." Then I became speechless. I was too weak! It's no good.

Then our roles suddenly changed. She started to encourage me and I cried in her arms. She said, "Stop crying. Look!" I looked her, and found her eyes got filled with tears. I apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'll be OK. And I think, I believe YOU'll be OK, too, right?" The woman said, "Yes!" A few minutes later she went to the hospital. I touched her hand at the last moment she left.




On Tuesday, when I went to the fourth floor dining room, the woman first talked to me so happily, "I had no problem with the test!!!!" I said, "Oh I feel very very happy for you!" We felt happy together!


As for services, I knew I'm not the regular pianist for Wednesday and Thursday. Maybe it' was my fault. Because of my lack of English ability, I miss Ieva's explanation sometimes. For my first two weeks, I had a roll of playing the piano in every religious services so I thought no other regular pianist were there. I was wrong.

On Wednesday, a ministry woman came and played and sang beautifully. Ieva explained to me that they usually are a team of two or three people. On my first Wednesday, they supposed to come but didn't appear so Ieva did the service. Then I was given the opportunity to play the piano.

On Thursday, another beautiful pianist came. Ieva later explained to me that she comes to the nursing home a few times a month but not decided how many times.

I think I can learn a lot of things from the pianists. Yes, I'm lucky.

However, on these two days, I had a little bit hard time because I didn't know somebody else would come to play and sing in advance. It means I couldn't have time for my mental preparedness. Without music notes, I can't sing any hymns. It's my problem. I want to learn English hymns while I'm here. It'd be good opportunity to learn English hymns, too.



I have my weaknesses. A lot.
I am not good at standing out. I'm not good at entertaining people. Even though, occasionally, I do MC at concerts, conduct a choir, sing in front of audience, or play the piano, I have to confess I'm a shy person. I know it might be strange to some people. But it's true. I just love music. I love doing music with people. I love being among people. I'd be grateful if I could help people feel comfortable when they sing, when they play instruments. For those reasons, I've been doing music or other things.

I see all people who lead the religious services here are great! I want to be more confident, more strong, tougher, more tolerant, flexible........ I have a lot of challenges in this great opportunity.

I want to be better next week, and the next week...... I know God always help me even though I'm not a hard practicing Christian. I learned many things this week. Thank you, everyone, who I have been with.