new days started!

I didn't have lunch today because I was sleeping for a few hours in the afternoon. Maybe it was a too long nap! I woke up and lay down on the bed for 30 more minutes, and wash my face to go for dinner.

I asked the kitchen staff who remembered me for her name because I wanted to remember her name, too!

I met a lot of new people there. I very much enjoyed conversation with some of them. They told me about their past experiences to me. I knew everybody had a tough time and more than once thought about that they would never come back. But at least they came back! Why? The answer would be obvious. This workshop gives you something special. You could learn not only music but various things about life. I was impressed with every one's story and was encouraged. I shouldn't worry about things. I should not be so serious. Of course I should work hard to make the most of my time here. Then I should be satisfied what I or we would be done.

Oh, my another happiness is that there are four Japanese people in this five-day course, including me. Yumiko is one of the faculty member. She brought her Japanese student. Also I met Keiko from Tokyo. Since I joined the last workshop, everybody told me about Keiko. All of them expressed how wonderful she is. I was so glad to meet Keiko tonight! It's going to be a wonderful time this week!


OK, I'm having a happy dream tonight!
Good night from Smith II.

a joy

I forgot to write about a joy I had on Saturday. When I went to have dinner to the dining hall, I greeted to the kitchen staff. To my surprise, she called my name and said, "Welcome back Naoko!" I was delightful to hear that!

a day off beween two courses

It's Monday. Most of the weekend course participants left yesterday right after the concert, and the five-day course people are coming this evening.

I wrote, "I've been very much enjoying time here." in the last entry. Did I enjoy the time here for the weekend? Honestly, I'm not so sure about it. I don't know why. I tried to enjoy it, and couldn't do it fully, and tried it and couldn't...... I can't explain the reason why. In some sense, I have a feeling of that I couldn't adjust myself to everyone, I'm not sure if I did OK, or I'm not so sure about ...... everything. This time, I could only sometimes feel my voice was mixed with everyone, I couldn't feel good quality of harmony, and then felt I was the one who made it worse.... or I often felt I couldn't play my role well. On the whole, we did our best at the concert, I believe. But for me, I couldn't do my nest at the concert, also I couldn't do my best at our rehearsals.

However, looking back the weekend at the last workshop, I was feeling more insecure. Yes, I stopped the music several times at the concert! It was better this time. Maybe so. Then, the last time, I felt so happy in the end of the five day course. So I believe I'm going to be all right in the end this time. I hope so.


One of my friends, who I met at the last workshop, told me that it needed to be challenging for us to grow up and learn. I'm not sure if I could grow up through this past weekend..... I'll see in the end of this coming weekend. It's really challenging in various respects.


Oh, I want write about one more thing, I was so impressed with other groups' performances, which made me think a lot. What is the great point of someone being able to sightread? Maybe it's convenient for someone who love music to have a sight-reading skill. But it must not decide how musically great the person is. I saw lots of wonderful singers at this workshop as well as the last one. Singers with dramatic voices, beautiful voices, crystal clear voices, resonant voices, excellent expressions, excellent sense of rhythms, and so on. Also I was so impressed with their great improvement between the Friday seminar and the final concert. That must be the most wonderful thing to witness here. I can imagine how hard each facilitator worked for all of us.

Maybe, I should not worry about myself that much. It's going to be all right!

There are 10 singers in my group!

The last time's weekend, there were only 4 singers on Saturday and 3 singers on Sunday. This time, we have 10 singers in my group. I've been learning lots of different things from this experience. It's sometimes difficult to communicate with others not only in a language way, but a musical way. Fundamental things, such as, how to start the piece, should have somebody who gives us cue, how to slow down, how to speed up, how to keep the tempo, how to interact with people who sing with different rhythms......


At first, everybody tended to concentrate only on their own note, absolutely including me! Then gradually, we got used to it and had an extra time to look at each other's faces. On the stage, I think we did the best performance with the last song. I felt so happy!

In tomorrow's final concert for the weekend course, we will sing Monteverdi's work with the lute and the cembalo. We rehearsed the piece today. I loved it so I want to make it better tomorrow. Have to work on it next morning, before the program starts!


I've been very much enjoying time here!
Good night, everyone!

hello from Smith college again!

I'm in the dorm room at Smith College in Massachusetts!! There seems to be a lot more people joining this second Smith workshop by The Western Wind. I'm looking forward to meeting wonderful musical people here!

Everybody's Amazing Story.

We had Bible study at the adult day health care center.

A volunteer pastor was supposed to show up but was not there on time. So I just started to sing Amazing Grace with the participants while we were waiting for the pastor. Then, something came up to my mind. I started to talk to them, "I love this song! And I want to hear your amazing stories today. Let me tell you my amazing story. My amazing story is being here! When I started to think about being a volunteer in foreign country, I had no idea to make it realized. I just told my thought to my husband. After getting his approval, I e-mailed my friend in Brooklyn, whom I met three years ago when I stay there for three months to learn English. She is pastor Ieva's friend! Also they were going to get together the next day. Over lunch, they talked about me and decided to have me here! Isn't it amazing?" They listened to my story enthusiastically. I was glad to share my story with them.

My piano student talked about her story, one time she was very sick and the doctor told her she might have died. But at midnight, she somehow survived miraculously!

One woman talked about her son. Soon after his birth, he got sick. All family gave up him but her. She took her son to NY from their state (down south). He had an operation and saved! She said, "God is a doctor of doctors." I liked the expression.

Then the volunteer pastor called the staff and left a message that she could not come and we could learn Psalm 91.

I asked people to do a opening prayer. A woman raised her hand. I had never heard her pray. To my great joy, she prayed soooooo beautifully, which made a staff said, "It was beautiful!"

Then a woman in a wheel chair raised her hand and told us how thankful she is to God. I remember once she told us her story. She loves singing. She had a dream one night, where her singing voice went up and up to high to the heaven to God. She said she is thankful to God that he gave her her voice to sing even though she can't walk. Yesterday, she led a song for us. She requested a song and I said "is it included in our song book?" She said no. Then I asked her "then you can lead us to sing!" She said, "Everybody knows the song!" I said, "But we need you to lead us! Please do it!" I handed the microphone to her and she led us beautifully.

My piano student read the Bible, Psalm 91 for us and explained the meaning. I really appreciated her help. I couldn't do it without her help.

For the closing prayer, I asked a woman to do it. I remember she told us her beautiful story one time. She once wanted to die but rethought about it and then reached the idea, she could help people and she could go on her life, to be needed. I loved her idea and I wanted her to pray. She hesitated a little bit at first but did it at last! I was really glad to hear her prayer.

It turned out to be a good time. I know God helped me to do it. He let me do it.
Thank you.


It's been really tough these days at the nursing home. I don't know what I should do and what I don't have to. I think I'm here to communicate with people. But at the same time, to join the religious activities became an important part of my job, too, because people look forward to participate the activities. It's really hard to make a good balance between everything, not only things but also people.

I hate the weekend subway!

Yesterday, I had a good time with my friend who is visiting NY from Japan with her parents. We met at the Time Warner Building at Columbus Circle, then had lunch at food court in Whole Foods supermarket. I love the place and I was glad that she loved the place very much! After lunch we took bus to 34th St. then enjoyed shopping at H&M, Conways, Payless shoes, Jack dollar shop, and so on. Although we bought just a few things, we very much enjoyed the time to look around things together.

Actually, I've had sore throat since Friday. So I had a rest Saturday night, not singing, not playing the piano, but just reading a book and doing the imagination training. The imagination training is reading music and playing the small keyboard as I lay down on the bed. For example, I look at the melody with out playing the key, and imagine the note in my brain, then play the key, if I was correct, then look at the next note and imagine the note in my brain and play the key.... like that. I think it helps to improve my sight reading ability. It'd be a good preparation for the next workshop!


This morning, I left home around 7:30 to get church earlier than usual. The women chorus piece's rehearsal was supposed to start 9:15, which was 15 minutes earlier than the whole choir's rehearsal, but I wanted to get there even earlier than that because I was supposed to play two pieces of piano music at the service. Also I was afraid of weekend crazy subway schedule. So I was going to have breakfast near church, I thought, maybe I could arrived there 8:30 or so.

I headed to the A line station first, which took me 10 minutes. There are two stations near my apartments, A line and NO 1 line, No 1 line station is closer but A line is convenient with the connection. I arrived to the A line station and knew, weekend A downtown train skip the station! I headed back to No 1 line station, which took me another ten minutes walk! Then I made two time connection to get my church. When I arrived at the church it was already 9:10! I had no time to have breakfast. I just bought corn bread at nearby deli and had a little of it as I walked to the church or on the train after the service. I felt like being a New Yorker!


As for my piano playing, it went quite well, I believe. I am thankful to be given this opportunity. My fingers were trembling when I started to play the prelude, also my heart was pounding all the time, but I felt so happy to be able to share the music with people I love!

bagel and coffee for breakfast

I want to do something different this morning. I left home earlier and sat on a bench at the Central Park West Ave., spent 30 minutes reading a book, then felt hungry remembering I just had orange juice at home. I found a vendor at entrance of the 103rd subway station. It was my first time to buy bagel and hot coffee there. The vendor man was cheerful and kind. He asked me if I am Chinese, a FAQ for me, I answered I am Japanese. I enjoyed my special breakfast sitting on the bench at the platform and then in the train. I felt like being a New Yorker! I loved the taste of the bagel and cream cheese very much. I think I'll buy it again when I want something special! I got refreshed and head to the nursing home!

Before lunch, I talked with a social worker. She listened to my story and gave me a good suggestion. I was glad to have her with me.

At lunch time, I sat with a woman who is, I think, really a picky eater. She often doesn't like the meal and asks the kitchen staff to change the plate or special order which is often not included that day's menu, like to replace port to chicken, or to make cheese sandwiches, and so on. Today's regular menu was lasagna. She obviously loved it because she finished it all and asked another plate and finished the one! I said, "I'm glad you like lasagna and had two plate of them!" She smiled at me. To see her eating with joy was really blessing!

In the afternoon, we had a good church service. Beautiful testimonies, songs, and prayers. I was encouraged by people's loves. Unfortunately, we have to cancel next Thursday's service due to a lack of manpower. I could only play music but I can't give a preach...... I feel useless but I hope we can have another wonderful service in August.

And I really hope the new pastor is coming very soon. We, pastoral care staff, are in an unstable situation. We need someone to lead us, a decision maker. Until the pastor comes, we should go on by ourselves, I mean, volunteers.


After getting home, I spent two hours with the piano, practicing a duet song which I am going to sing with my friend at the next workshop, two piano pieces which I am going to play in service at my church in Brooklyn next Sunday. Then I wrote an e-mail to apply for the speech pathology research volunteer next semester, hopefully once a week. I'm not a college student but I am hoping to join it after having an interview with the faculty. I've been interested in language pronunciation since I started to learn English seriously a few years ago, or possibly more years ago, since I started to learn classical singing because I need to sing songs in several different languages. I want to know how alphabetical language speaking people pronounce every consonants or vowels. I can't afford to go to university but I want to learn about it. If I can get this opportunity, I'd be another wonderful experience here!

Tomorrow will be my day off. I'm going to read a book which I borrowed last Saturday, "Musicophilia". This book is fascinating for me! It contains many things I wanted to know! Even though it's difficult for me to read and understand, I want to read it anyway. Books always teach me a lot.

starting over

This morning, I felt like starting over.
Visited 4th floor people. Greeted people at the day room. They hugged me. Visited a resident's room and spent a good time there chatting. He was discharged from the hospital last week. He seemed weak soon after that. He seemed quite fine today, which made me very happy.

Updated the room chart on the PC at the office, which took me more than 2 hours, in the morning and in the afternoon. Also I made a couple of phone calls, which, I think, made the good-will directions better.

At lunch time, had a good chat with two residents. We talked about skating, skiing, amusement parks, baseball, winer in NY, etc.

After work, I went to my music friend's apartment. She and her husband took me to a Mexican restaurant. We enjoyed food and talk for a while. They talked me that they first met at a folk singing camp 40 years ago! They are a truly good couple. I felt really warm spending time with them. Then she and I practiced our duette for an hour.

I was so sleepy when I got home because I watched the MLB All Star game last night! I took a nap for a while and felt better.


Today, my life turned up a little after a tough time this week. I'm here to talk with people. I should be happy. I should be a happy-go-lucky person!

good-meaning spirits head for different directions

Everybody is a good fellow, has a beautiful spirit. Now, in a situation where there is no moderator, no organizer, and no leader, every spirit heads for different directions. It is such a sad situation. I don't know what to do. I feel useless again. I love everybody and I can't do anything to make the situation better. I just can be there and do anything I can do. I hope the situation turns better and everybody gets together in the end. There must be some misunderstanding and speculations going around. I hope the air is cleared in the end..... I really hope so.

my close friend at the nursing home was hospitalized.

On Friday, I knew my piano student was hospitalized

Thursday afternoon. She was fine at lunch time. We talked about the woman having passed away. She said she would come to the service in the afternoon. She didn't come to the service. Ieva and I were worried about her. Then we knew she had a pain and bounding in her heart and was brought to the hospital Thursday afternoon.

She is the woman who gave me a nice knit cap a few days ago. On my first day, we had lunch together. She told me that her dream is learning how to play the piano until she dies. Soon after that, we started having piano lessons after Thursday's church service. Then we became close and close. She is a really lovely person. She takes care of every one at the nursing home. She always wants to make every one happy. She is always willing to help everybody. One day she told me that her dream was to make a Home for children who have no family, or need education, in her own country, Trinidad. When she came to the US, she was going back to her country after getting certain medical treatment. However, it was not realized. She said that she promised it to her husband so she wanted to keep the promise. She looked so sad when she told me that. But I think she is doing meaningful things here. Not for children but for the residents here!

I was so sad when I heard of her hospitalization. Ieva and I visited the hospital after work on Friday. She was in the ER. She was sleeping on a small bed in a noisy atmosphere. When she saw us, her eyes got filled with tears. We talked to each other for a while and sang a hymns together and pray together hand in hand.

I hope she gets well soon and comes back to the Home. We need her. Everybody needs her.

A cheerful spirit passed away.....

Today, when I was in an elevator at the nursing home, going down to the kitchen to submit my lunch order, a staff asked me, "Where is Pastor Ieva?" I said, "She is coming in the afternoon." Then she said, "Ms. XX died. This Monday. Today is funeral at 12. " I was stunned.


On my first day at the nursing home, Ieva and I made the round and took picture of each resident and me. I visited the resident's room. She was unconscious. She seemed so weak. We took a picture but Ieva said, "Naoko, we should come again and take another picture. She has a beautiful smile. She is not like this." I remember Ieva's sad face at that time.

Then time passed. July 23th, Ieva and I visited the hospital to see some of our residents who were hospitalized then. She was one of them. I was quite surprised to see her because she was much better than the last time I saw her. She sat up on the bed and smiled beautifully! Ieva told me that she used to play the piano. After singing several hymns together, I sang a song for her. I thought she understood a classical music. I happened to have a music piece with me, "Rejoice Greatly, O daughter of Zion" from "Messiah" by Handel. She seemed to enjoy it very much. As I sang, she was conducting me, almost dancing, all the time smiling. When I finished singing, she said, "you are a wonderful singer and you are beautiful!" And she said to Ieva, "you are beautiful, too!" Good consideration! And Ieva said, "You ARE beautiful!" to her. And I said, "We three are very beautiful women! Then we burst in to laughter. It was a wonderful time. Filled with happiness, music, good spirits.


This Monday, on the first day I came back from my vacation, Ieva and I were going to visit the hospital again. We were one particular person in our mind who seemed to be in a very serious situation. We thought she was fine. Then we knew the person was back from the hospital. So we canceled the visit and went to the person's room straight.

If we made the trip to the hospital on Monday?...... This question was hanging over my head all day today. She passed away this Monday. I don't know what time. I should have visited her.. ? It's the question we never know the answer, maybe.

Anyway, I am still glad to have a good time with her. Enjoyed music with her.
At the same time, I feel sorry for her that I didn't visit her another time. I hope she is in a better place and is enjoying music with people up there. Thank you for your cheerful spirit, Rose!


I learned I shouldn't postpone my time when I want to do something. When I think I want to meet someone, just meet her or him. When I think I want to start something, just start it. Only if the circumstances permits me to do it..... It's easy to say, but hard to practice.

music power

I want to write one more thing about Monday.
In the afternoon, Ieva and I were going to visit the hospital to see some of the residents who were hospitalized. Especially, we had one particular resident in our mind. When we were about to leave the Home, we were told that the resident was back from the hospital! So we canceled the schedule and went to his room. His room was empty and the bed was not ready. He was at the day room in a wheel chair. We brought him to the church space where we could talk in a quiet atmosphere. He could barely speak. His voice was so weak. He said he is all right but I felt sad a bit.

Then Ieva asked him if he want to listen to my singing his favorite hymn "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling". He said yes. I didn't know the hymn. I opened the hymn book and started to sing with the piano. To my amazement, he started to sing with us! I could clearly heard his voice, the pitch was perfect! He remembered the words! His voice was louder than he spoke. It was just amazing. I felt music power. Sometimes, music made people energized and alive.

I hope he gets better and better.....

dancing!

Today, I danced with a resident who is in a wheel chair. She was down a few weeks ago. She expected to go home earlier but couldn't make it. She cried sometimes. It made me sad. Yesterday, I come to her to say hello after my vacation. She looked great and positive, which made me so happy. She told me that she is doing well, practicing walking everyday, washing her face by herself, using the bath room by herself. She seemed satisfied with her progress even if it's a small step. I said, "the time will come, right?" She said, "Yes!" Today, when we talked with each other, she handed my hands and started to dance in a wheel chair, of course I danced, turning around at the end, which made her burst into laughing! I said, "You can dance very soon!" She said, "Yes, of course!" We very much enjoyed our dancing time together! Also she was glad to hear my story at the workshop like my family.

I visited several residents to their private rooms. Among them was a Chinese man. It was my second time to visit his room. He is blind and doesn't walk around very much, so I can rarely see him around. He welcomed me and spoke several Japanese greetings to me, like "Konnichiwa (hello)" "Konbanwa (good evening)". He said, "I'm glad to meet an Asian person!" I thought I must visit him more often. I should remember there is a Asian man who want to speak with me....

In the afternoon, we had Bible Study at the adult day care center. People shaked my hands to welcome me! I said I had missed them and they said they had missed me, too. We sang many hymns together. Among them today's my favorite was "Precious Lord, take my hand" God leads me the way I should go.

Usually I don't work on Friday, but we have to send our newsletter on Friday so tomorrow turned out to be my day off. I am going to do my laundry and shopping. Also I'm looking forward to listen to my favorite radio show, The Brian Lehrer Show, live in the morning!

beautiful things

I was back at my nursing home today.
After lunchtime, a resident came to our pastoral care office in her wheel chair. She is my piano student and always care about me like my mother. She gave me this handmade knit cap as both my birthday present and welcome back present! I was so delighted with her kindness. I thought of the time she was knitting this as she thought of me..... What a beautiful gift! I can't wait to wear this in coming fall and winter! I told her about my days at Smith. When I said that I could join the next workshop on a scholarship, her eyes got filled with tears and just said, "Oh, Lord, thank you!" I hugged her tightly. This is the most beautiful gift I've ever received in my life.

I was so glad to see my pastor, Ieva, again! We talked over lunch. She was delighted with my story at Smith. I'm so happy to have lovely people around me.



This photo is not upside down. I took this when I was lying down on the grass at break time on Thursday. I was so tired both mentally and physically at that time. After taking a nap for a while, I opened my eyes and so touched with the beauty of this tree and took this photo instantly. Isn't it incredibly beautiful? Beautiful things always soothes me.

the party's over.... it was like a dream world!

It's all over. I'm in the living room at the dorm enjoying staying extra night. Rita and Richard are also staying at a motel and going to drive me back to NY tomorrow morning.

Time passed so fast. At the same time, I felt like I've been here for a long long time.

This morning, as I was singing I was choked up. I realized that it was the last day being with this lovely singers and my facilitator, Kristina. I really didn't want leave here!!! I thought in my mind. Music sounded so lovely. I felt everybody's music in my body.

The start is always difficult with everything. It was the same about this workshop. I had a lot of ups and downs. But whenever I was down, helping hands were always there, just came up from somewhere. I guess everybody in my group had a difficult time during this week. After all, we became a great emsenble group, I'm pretty sure about it!

Among songs we sang at today's final concert, I loved Poulenc music. At first, I thought, "what's this? It's sooooo difficult! I don't think I can sing such a complicated music!" But, as we sang it again and again, it became my favorite song. The harmony is marvelously lovely when the harmony sounds correctly. Especially, if its dinamycs was PP(pianississimo), I almost couldn't hear my voice. I just trusted everyone, listened to everyone, imagined my note and the whole harmony in my mind, opened my mouth, and finally trusted myself, then it worked well! When I could join the harmony world, it was just amaging.


I feel really glad I could join this workshop during my 1-year stay in the U.S.
I want to thank everyone who have been with me for the past week. I've had a lot of helping hands, my facilitators, the members of my group, people on the meal tables, or even workers at the dining place.


I got a lot to tell the residents at my nursing home next week!


Good night!

Friday night....

I couldn't write my blog last night because I was too tired and sleepy.
Yesterday was hard. I woke up with ear ringing with my right ear. So it was difficult to sing along with people.... Headache... nausea.... But now I think it was a necessary progress for me. I confessed my weakness to the members of my group, share my pain with Kristina, and Yumiko san. After talking with them, I felt relieved and became sleepy.

Oh, I forgot to write about it! Yesterday, after the warming up time, Yumiko san came before us and announced my birthday and everybody sang happy birthday song for me! The beautiful sound made me so happy!


This morning (Friday), I woke up with no headache! Also appetite came back. I think I overcame something.... something big. Now I feel more comfortable with singing. This workshop gave me something so important. Feeling of confidence, the importance of communication, compassion for everyone.... it's not only about music, but it's about human relationship.

It's not finished yet. Tomorrow, we are having the final concert by all participants. As I heard tonight's seminor, I'm sure it's going to be a wonderful concert!


Good night!

such a memorable birthday!

Today, I became 46 years old. I believe I'm still young and try to do new things for the rest of my life. Some people who I told that today was my birthday celebrated to me. I couldn't be happier!

On the second day of our group, we had a new member and had done new songs. I've done many many songs since I came here and all of them have been completely new to me. So I've been impressed with variety of beautiful chorus music! Now I'm not belonging to any choir in Japan, just teaching singing a senior choir where we do just simple Japanese songs. So this workshop inspires me a lot. I've recognized how I love music.

In the seminar tonight, our group done 5 pieces among which I sang 4 songs, "Selig sind die Toten" by Heinrich Schutz, "Io Piango" by Marten Lauridsen, "Magnificat tercii toni" by Gilles Binchois, "Vinea mea electa" by Francis Poulenc.

The facilitator, Christina, is a really great moderator. She is there when we need her. She doesn't intervene us very much. Just let us do it, then when the time comes, she explained things so clearly and imaginatively! Also she suggested me how to control low notes, or what kind of tone I should use in particular music. I can't carry out what she is saying at once but it helped me a lot. After the afternoon rehearsal, I spent 2 hours at my favorite place, the piano practice room, and confirmed the pronunciation, the melody, and the harmony. Playing all part by the piano, I realized that all of our pieces had very tricky harmony but at the same time very very rainbowful, I mean so colorful, when it works well. I gradually fell into love with every piece and started to feel comfortable with singing it. It was not enough but I did my best anyway. Then at night we had a seminar, where everyone presented the past two day's works get suggestion from the faculties.

I was so impressed with every group's music. They expressed truly love toward music. I saw their beautiful spirits. It was wonderful time! Their faces were shining after having done really challenging pieces.

We are polishing our music and are having a final concert on Saturday.

I'm slow at everything. Every time we finish the rehearsal I would be the last one who leave the place. Also, I need time to get music right. Until I finish confirm each word's pronunciation and harmony, my voice doesn't come out smoothly. I want to be a quick reader. I need to work harder. But it's my personality, might be OK. After our performance, I was filled with music and so exhausted! I don't know what's happening for the rest of the week. I hope I can improve my music in any ways!

Now I think I really should go to bed! Sleepy!
Good night, everyone!

music and friendship

I got a lot of loves today.
It was the first day of 5-day course. New small groups organized. This time, my facilitator is Kristina. In our group, there is four women and 3 men. 3 of us are the same member from the weekend course. One woman is a first time participant like me. She is an organist and a church choir leader. I used to do the same things as her so we could related to each other although she is much greater than me!

In the morning, it was difficult. Kristina was so busy and also trusted us as good singers that she left us alone for most of the times. She just gave us several wonderful pieces and let us do our rehearsal by ourselves. I know she prepared a lot for us to choose challenging and beautiful pieces, it must have been a lot of work. What was difficult for me was..... English! I love everyone and I know everyone loves me as a member of the group, but when discussion started I couldn't follow the topic often. I felt useless. I thought I should have asked them to speak slowly, then I tried it once. But it was not only the speed problem, but also I don't know much about music terms in English. I just learned several ones recently like quoter note (四分音符) , half note　(二分音符), first system(一段目), second measure(二小節目),　major second　(長二度？),　E-major (ホ長調), all of which we never learn in Japanese English schools. I tried to follow them, but couldn't. I tried to be positive, then gave up, and became quiet. I know it was not a good attitude. I hated myself to be soooooo weak! You should be tougher! You are an adult! I know! But I couldn't be strong enough.

At lunch time, I was speechless. I picked up some food anyway but couldn't eat and couldn't talk with any people. I thought it was not good for other people, so I just stood up and left the dining hall. At the outside I met my friend, Richard. I just couldn't help myself but started to cry a lot like a baby! I was soooo stupid! It's embarrassing! We sat at the bench and talked to each other. He suggested me to talk to them about my feeling. But I didn't want to bother them because I love all of them..... Eventually Richard said he was going to talk with them even if I opposed him to do that. He did and it turned out to be great. In the afternoon session, everybody tried very hard to get me involved in the discussion. I had a good time. I very much thankful to all of them. Now at the end of the day, as I'm writing this, I feel like this: we are experiencing a special thing, it's worth doing it, not everyone can do such things. It is a great opportunity to sing with such wonderful singers like them. I should be happy!

Tomorrow is going to be another great day, I'm sure!
Good night, everyone!


Naoko

A day off for singing

Today, we didn't have any session. The weekend course ended yesterday and 5-day course participants came this evening. It was a valley of music fulfilled times. Some people just enjoyed sleeping as much as they wanted. Some people enjoyed the nature.

I ate out for breakfast at a diner. The sugar container had a different shape I knew in Japan. I thought it was a giant salt container! I had a today's special omelet and bread. Of course it was Yummy!

Then we went to the Salvation Army shop. I bought a lovely classical-taste skirt for 5 dollars!


After lunch, I practiced a duet song with Rita. We are hoping to sing it on Thursday. We have done it last month, but oh my goodness, how quickly memory has gone! I felt like it was a new song for me! I'll have to get back my memory by then!

Then, I went to the swimming hall. It was like a pond. Several local people were there and enjoying swimming. I liked the jumping rope, like the movie, "Tarzan"!
Around dinner time, the 5-day course people kept coming. Transition time. I met several new people at the dining hall.

After dinner was a concert by The Western Wind. The program was completely different from the Friday night one. Some of the music was theatrical. I loved it!

Tomorrow, we will be divided into new 5 groups with new facilitators. I look forward to singing new people and meeting new music.

I'm so sleepy now and can't think of anything else to write about ... lots of stimulating things are happening in the past few days. All things are wonderful. Good night!