I've been struggling with my singing.
Last month, I had my first vocal lesson with my new teacher. Until the second lesson, I tried to do:
* before singing, each time, breathing slowly and deeply, store the breath at the bottom of my belly, and relax my jaw.
* try not to be aware of my throat or vocal cord, just to sing by the order of diaphragm
* when saying "ng" sound, relax my tongue and try not to change the pitch when moving into any vowels
* My "i" vowel tends to be tensed on the tip of my tongue. So feel the back of the tongue and relax
* Once starting to sing, no hesitation, just going on. Don't push but don't hesitate
* make some room in the back of my neck
* when going down the step, I should be relaxed because the vibration decreases when the note going down
* When the sound is good, I should feel the comfortable flexibility everywhere
* my "u" vowel is not enough "u". It's different from Japanese "u" sound. should be careful.
During the two weeks until the second lesson, I just tried to follow those things, and became to have several problems.... maybe not problems but awkwardness?
Many things are connected to my English pronunciation. I became aware of my pronunciation when I read a book out loud. "u" is not "u". "i" is always tensed. "ng" is wrong, too tensed on my tongue. When I try not to change the pitch when I read aloud, I felt a kind of more comfortable to pronounce English words. So I just kept doing it but I was not sure.....
Breathing. I try to breathe deeply every time I sing. Then I didn't know how to keep the breath efficiently, how to go on singing a long phrase, how to use my breath by the same amount little by little. After a while, I became to feel that my chest becomes hard in the end of the phrase and I couldn't fix it.
+++++++++++++++++
The second lesson came this Wednesday.
This time, my teacher suggested the following points.
* F# is my unstable point. especially when I go between F# and A#, it really difficult to move naturally. When F# is fine, then A# becomes flat. when A# goes well, F# becomes sharp. I feel it, I understand what she said.. but it was really difficult to fix it. I felt so sad that I couldn't respond her instruction....
* Especially on A# or some other certain points, my voice get stuck! My teacher said, "You voice is stuck!" I knooooooooow!!! But I can't fix it!!! Help me!!! She tried to help me with many ways. But I think I couldn't respond to her instruction well. I hope I would be better next time.
* Support. When I vibrate my lips and sing a certain movement, my teacher said I can support my breath well. So after the lesson, I practiced the lips vibration. I felt the bottom of my belly became hard when I vibrate my lips. Then I try to sing by vowels, or by some phrases, making the same condition. After a while, I felt my entire body became tensed somehow, not flexible.... I know I should be relaxed, but I can't do it!
* I became flat in every end of the phrase. My voice tremble in every end of the phrase. I knooooow. But I can't fix it!!!! One of the reasons is tension of my tongue. The sound should go beyond my tongue, not under my tongue, especially when singing "e" vowel, my tongue becomes tensed. I found later that "u" and "o" also goes tensed...... almost all vowels!!!
Now....
I have to be aware of so many things. I want to sing naturally and relaxed, I know. But when I think of this and that and these and those and..... I become so tensed. I believe it would be the way to the progress. Now I feel I'm in a dark tunnel. I'm not flexible now. I am so awkward. I feel as if I am a kindergarten student, or even a baby, not knowing how to breathe, how to speak, or how to walk!
I know every teacher has their own method. I love my current teacher's music and I decided to learn from her. I have only 6 month being here. I don't know how much I can learn from her. But I believe I can learn something from her and improve my singing. I want to believe it.
But to be honest, I am not confident now...... I feel I'm not good..... I really hope things will be better with me! I'll try my best.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
one-dollar bill
On Friday, I went to the nearby grocery shop and stood in a register line after getting eggs and onions. There were a few people before me. Then a woman came ahead of me saying "I was.... uh..." She muttered something and stood in front of me. I said, "You mean you were in the line?" She said "Yes." So I said "OK, go ahead." She thanked me and go to the register.
I saw what she had in her hand. Fruits. Peaches, apples, and bananas. Maybe 2 each. I noticed everything was half rotten, not in a good condition, maybe discounted ones.
She seemed in her 40's, my age. Wore her grizzled hair in a bun. She wore decent wool suits but looked like old cloth. I noticed the skirt's back zip was half opened.
She seemed very nervous while register person was checking out. Looked the displayed price on the resister anxiously. Then 1.00 was displayed. She smiled a little bit and put one-dollar bill from her bag and gave it to the checker. She put it out not from her purse but directly from her bag.
Then the checker said something. It seemed the total price was not one dollar but one dollar and several dozen cents or something. She seemed very upset, fished for in her bag for awhile. I expected she put some coin from her bag soon. But nothing was showed up. I was surprised and my heart started to ache.
She had nothing but one-dollar bill. She said to the checker "I won't buy this." pointed out one of the fruit. Then the checker canceled one kind of the fruit, 2 peaches or something. Price became less than a dollar.
She asked the checker that she wanted to buy one peach if she could, so the checker weighed a peach again and add the price. The price was OK. She got a few cents of change and said "Thank you" to the checker and left.
I was deeply heartbroken. I thought I should have given her a dollar or even dozens of cents...... I was just stunned and couldn't do anything.
I usually say "I'm not rich. I have to spend as less money as possible here."
But I have enough money to live, enough to eat not only meals but also some sweets, my favorite ice cream, if I want.
There are many people like that woman. I wonder how she manage her daily meals..... Does she have any children? Does she have a place to live? Does she have any family to ask for help? I know I can't help everybody who is in need. I can't do anything...... My heart aches as I remember her now. What can we do for the needed people. Give money is not a definitive solution...... What can we do for them?
I want to spend each dollar for good use, thinkingly. I will.
I saw what she had in her hand. Fruits. Peaches, apples, and bananas. Maybe 2 each. I noticed everything was half rotten, not in a good condition, maybe discounted ones.
She seemed in her 40's, my age. Wore her grizzled hair in a bun. She wore decent wool suits but looked like old cloth. I noticed the skirt's back zip was half opened.
She seemed very nervous while register person was checking out. Looked the displayed price on the resister anxiously. Then 1.00 was displayed. She smiled a little bit and put one-dollar bill from her bag and gave it to the checker. She put it out not from her purse but directly from her bag.
Then the checker said something. It seemed the total price was not one dollar but one dollar and several dozen cents or something. She seemed very upset, fished for in her bag for awhile. I expected she put some coin from her bag soon. But nothing was showed up. I was surprised and my heart started to ache.
She had nothing but one-dollar bill. She said to the checker "I won't buy this." pointed out one of the fruit. Then the checker canceled one kind of the fruit, 2 peaches or something. Price became less than a dollar.
She asked the checker that she wanted to buy one peach if she could, so the checker weighed a peach again and add the price. The price was OK. She got a few cents of change and said "Thank you" to the checker and left.
I was deeply heartbroken. I thought I should have given her a dollar or even dozens of cents...... I was just stunned and couldn't do anything.
I usually say "I'm not rich. I have to spend as less money as possible here."
But I have enough money to live, enough to eat not only meals but also some sweets, my favorite ice cream, if I want.
There are many people like that woman. I wonder how she manage her daily meals..... Does she have any children? Does she have a place to live? Does she have any family to ask for help? I know I can't help everybody who is in need. I can't do anything...... My heart aches as I remember her now. What can we do for the needed people. Give money is not a definitive solution...... What can we do for them?
I want to spend each dollar for good use, thinkingly. I will.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
this week
This is my 24th week being in NY.
Monday:
I had my first music class at the nursing home. After introducing each other by saying your name and your favorite color, started with warming up, rolling your shoulders slower both forward and backward, rolling your neck slowly, breathing in and out slowly as you imagine standing on a beautiful prairie, then sing with vowels in a scale little by little. Then moved to the music. I picked up "Merry Widow Waltz" for this time. First singing the melody a part by a part by vowel "A", and then read the lyrics aloud, finally we sang the song with words. Since it was a waltz, I thought we should swing! I encouraged people to swing in anyway, handing next person's hand and swing together, dancing is fine, or just swinging your arms as you sing.... everybody seemed to be enjoying the time. I was so glad to see it.
Next time will be the next Monday. I'll be doing it on first and third Mondays. I hope people find singing comfortable and fun and also hope warming exercises help their body healthy.
Tuesday:
Bible study. We had Ieva, John and Eugenia. Ieva asked everyone questions "Where are you from?" "Who are you?" Mostly their answer were their original country and their name, but some of them had unique answers, I enjoyed it and learned from them.
Wednesday:
It was off. I was going to practice choir's music but I had a headache and ear ringing and sore throat, too bad! I try not sing too much and look up words or read the words in my mind. I went to the choir rehearsal at night but couldn't sing well. It happens sometimes.
Thursday:
Ieva was away for her mother.
In the morning, I couldn't use the PC in the office because the ID and password was expired, the message said. I went to the IT staff but he was off. A recreation staff let me use her computer so I could type and print out the words for the song which I'm going to use for my next music class.
Lunch time, the main dining was closed due to the clothing sale or something. I waited at the door of the kitchen until getting my lunch but the kitchen staff seemed so busy. I went to the nearby McDonald and had McChicken, small french fry and coffee.
At chapel service time, the ministry who was supposed to come didn't show up. I called him and found he was in his apartment. He just honestly said to me, "Naoko, I'm sorry. I just totally forgot." There was nobody who could preach so I had to do something because the residents were already there waiting to start.
I asked a blind resident to give us a opening prayer which he did wonderfully. Then we sang "Precious Lord, Take My Hand." The man whose favorite song was this one, smiled at me saying the title of the song loud. I was glad to see his smile. Then I handed the mic saying, "I think everybody know Mr. xx. He always come early and set up the church for us. He is in the hospital now. Not only him there are many who is severely sick or in the hospital. I'd like you to pray for the sick people." Then two residents give us a prayer one after another. The first person is a woman who always sing a song for us but rarely pray so I was glad she did something different. The second person is a catholic Christian, her prayer was short but filled with love toward people because she herself is really a caring person.
Then we sang, "God will take care of you" After that, we read Psalm 23 out loud together followed by some solo songs.
I again apologized people, "I'm sorry we don't have anybody who can give you a preach today. I promise we are having a good service next Thursday. So we have to finish now. Anyone give us a closing prayer?" I saw a woman smiling. She always smiles. But I sensed something. She is rather shy so she rarely give some comment but I never heard her prayer. I asked her to pray. She hesitated at first. "I don't know how to do it..." she said. I didn't know how to encourage her but just I said, "Just say thank you Lord, and add your own words, anything is all right, short words is OK, anything in your mind!" Then she started "Thank you Lord...." then "Thank you for the food, thank you for our health..." I don't remember the rest of the words but she prayed beautifully. I was glad to hear that. At the back side, another woman who always sing songs in French also prayed in English. A recreation staff asked her to pray and she responded to it! I was grateful for both of them and the staff, too.
People started to leave the chapel, then I heard the French singer was singing a song, "The Old Rugged Cross" her favorite song. I started to play the song by the piano. She walked to the piano and sang it in French so I joined her singing in Japanese. We smiled at each other when we finished.
I think we had a good time, helping each other, loving each other. After all, I had a good time despite the fact that we didn't have a person who led us. Thank you, Lord.
However, it was a very energy consuming activity for me! I was totally shattered when it was finished. I went to the recreation leader's office and apologized the inconvenience. She said, "It's OK. It's fine. Anyway, are you doing your music class on Monday?" I said, "Yes! I definitely come! I'm prepared already!" "OK" She was smiling.
On my way home, actually, right after I got out of the Home, I found myself crying on the street and on the subway too. Sense of relief or just exhaustion? I don't know.... or kind of I was sad. Why was I sad? Whenever I feel the residents seem to be treated light, I mean, a kind of unimportantly, I feel sad. Maybe this time, it might not be true, but sometimes, I feel so.
I had to be absent for the choir rehearsal that night. I needed a rest.
It was another great week, I think so now.
Monday:
I had my first music class at the nursing home. After introducing each other by saying your name and your favorite color, started with warming up, rolling your shoulders slower both forward and backward, rolling your neck slowly, breathing in and out slowly as you imagine standing on a beautiful prairie, then sing with vowels in a scale little by little. Then moved to the music. I picked up "Merry Widow Waltz" for this time. First singing the melody a part by a part by vowel "A", and then read the lyrics aloud, finally we sang the song with words. Since it was a waltz, I thought we should swing! I encouraged people to swing in anyway, handing next person's hand and swing together, dancing is fine, or just swinging your arms as you sing.... everybody seemed to be enjoying the time. I was so glad to see it.
Next time will be the next Monday. I'll be doing it on first and third Mondays. I hope people find singing comfortable and fun and also hope warming exercises help their body healthy.
Tuesday:
Bible study. We had Ieva, John and Eugenia. Ieva asked everyone questions "Where are you from?" "Who are you?" Mostly their answer were their original country and their name, but some of them had unique answers, I enjoyed it and learned from them.
Wednesday:
It was off. I was going to practice choir's music but I had a headache and ear ringing and sore throat, too bad! I try not sing too much and look up words or read the words in my mind. I went to the choir rehearsal at night but couldn't sing well. It happens sometimes.
Thursday:
Ieva was away for her mother.
In the morning, I couldn't use the PC in the office because the ID and password was expired, the message said. I went to the IT staff but he was off. A recreation staff let me use her computer so I could type and print out the words for the song which I'm going to use for my next music class.
Lunch time, the main dining was closed due to the clothing sale or something. I waited at the door of the kitchen until getting my lunch but the kitchen staff seemed so busy. I went to the nearby McDonald and had McChicken, small french fry and coffee.
At chapel service time, the ministry who was supposed to come didn't show up. I called him and found he was in his apartment. He just honestly said to me, "Naoko, I'm sorry. I just totally forgot." There was nobody who could preach so I had to do something because the residents were already there waiting to start.
I asked a blind resident to give us a opening prayer which he did wonderfully. Then we sang "Precious Lord, Take My Hand." The man whose favorite song was this one, smiled at me saying the title of the song loud. I was glad to see his smile. Then I handed the mic saying, "I think everybody know Mr. xx. He always come early and set up the church for us. He is in the hospital now. Not only him there are many who is severely sick or in the hospital. I'd like you to pray for the sick people." Then two residents give us a prayer one after another. The first person is a woman who always sing a song for us but rarely pray so I was glad she did something different. The second person is a catholic Christian, her prayer was short but filled with love toward people because she herself is really a caring person.
Then we sang, "God will take care of you" After that, we read Psalm 23 out loud together followed by some solo songs.
I again apologized people, "I'm sorry we don't have anybody who can give you a preach today. I promise we are having a good service next Thursday. So we have to finish now. Anyone give us a closing prayer?" I saw a woman smiling. She always smiles. But I sensed something. She is rather shy so she rarely give some comment but I never heard her prayer. I asked her to pray. She hesitated at first. "I don't know how to do it..." she said. I didn't know how to encourage her but just I said, "Just say thank you Lord, and add your own words, anything is all right, short words is OK, anything in your mind!" Then she started "Thank you Lord...." then "Thank you for the food, thank you for our health..." I don't remember the rest of the words but she prayed beautifully. I was glad to hear that. At the back side, another woman who always sing songs in French also prayed in English. A recreation staff asked her to pray and she responded to it! I was grateful for both of them and the staff, too.
People started to leave the chapel, then I heard the French singer was singing a song, "The Old Rugged Cross" her favorite song. I started to play the song by the piano. She walked to the piano and sang it in French so I joined her singing in Japanese. We smiled at each other when we finished.
I think we had a good time, helping each other, loving each other. After all, I had a good time despite the fact that we didn't have a person who led us. Thank you, Lord.
However, it was a very energy consuming activity for me! I was totally shattered when it was finished. I went to the recreation leader's office and apologized the inconvenience. She said, "It's OK. It's fine. Anyway, are you doing your music class on Monday?" I said, "Yes! I definitely come! I'm prepared already!" "OK" She was smiling.
On my way home, actually, right after I got out of the Home, I found myself crying on the street and on the subway too. Sense of relief or just exhaustion? I don't know.... or kind of I was sad. Why was I sad? Whenever I feel the residents seem to be treated light, I mean, a kind of unimportantly, I feel sad. Maybe this time, it might not be true, but sometimes, I feel so.
I had to be absent for the choir rehearsal that night. I needed a rest.
It was another great week, I think so now.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
one of our kitties, Gara
This is Gara, one of our three kitties. My husband took photos of him and also of others. You can see his photos on his flickr page here
In winter, he usually sleeps under my left arm. Now he started to sleep my husband's..... I miss you, Gara! ummm? Maybe I should miss my husband more? hahaha...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
vocal lesson
I had my private vocal lesson yesterday.
It was just amazing. Or I felt like I was doing a meditation or Zen training although I'm not a specialist for Buddhism.
One of my problems is inconsistent pitch. I found that when I was ready with every aspect, my pitch became consistent. In another word, when I was not ready even with one thing necessary, my voice would not work well. Relaxing my jaw, breathing deeply, making a room behind my head, not making a vowel but just feeling it, then the sound comes out so naturally. It was exactly what I wanted to do for years and years but I couldn't reach the line yet.
My teacher gave me a lot of suggestions with detailed explanation. I couldn't respond her instruction and I felt so useless but it was the first lesson, it was just a start. I'll work hard and want to improve my voice by this great opportunity.
When it was finished, my brain was reached the limit, not working any more! I had to very much concentrate all the time. Yet, on my way to the station, many things went around in my brain. I was afraid of the things disappearing so I dropped in the doughnut shop and just try to write down what I learned with a corn bread and coffee.
For me, singing is still full of mystery. I feel often uncomfortable when I sing and think something must be wrong but cannot fix it. I've heard that vocal cord is uncontrollable muscle but you can train it by teaching how to work correctly. When it learns how to work, it remembers the process and will work well from there on, which means if you train it wrongly, it would remember the wrong way and it'd be difficult to change it from the bad to the good. I think my vocal cord muscle learned somehow wrongly and has been doing it for a long time so it'd be difficult to retrain it. But I really want to let it learn the correct way!
Today, I practiced by myself as I remembered the teacher's instruction. It's really difficult!!! I can't do it!!! No more!!!! I just can't do it! I repeat whine.... in my mind. But somehow, partly, a little bit, I could feel comfortable with singing. Just a baby step. I believe I can do it someday! I just started doing it. It's OK for today.
It was just amazing. Or I felt like I was doing a meditation or Zen training although I'm not a specialist for Buddhism.
One of my problems is inconsistent pitch. I found that when I was ready with every aspect, my pitch became consistent. In another word, when I was not ready even with one thing necessary, my voice would not work well. Relaxing my jaw, breathing deeply, making a room behind my head, not making a vowel but just feeling it, then the sound comes out so naturally. It was exactly what I wanted to do for years and years but I couldn't reach the line yet.
My teacher gave me a lot of suggestions with detailed explanation. I couldn't respond her instruction and I felt so useless but it was the first lesson, it was just a start. I'll work hard and want to improve my voice by this great opportunity.
When it was finished, my brain was reached the limit, not working any more! I had to very much concentrate all the time. Yet, on my way to the station, many things went around in my brain. I was afraid of the things disappearing so I dropped in the doughnut shop and just try to write down what I learned with a corn bread and coffee.
For me, singing is still full of mystery. I feel often uncomfortable when I sing and think something must be wrong but cannot fix it. I've heard that vocal cord is uncontrollable muscle but you can train it by teaching how to work correctly. When it learns how to work, it remembers the process and will work well from there on, which means if you train it wrongly, it would remember the wrong way and it'd be difficult to change it from the bad to the good. I think my vocal cord muscle learned somehow wrongly and has been doing it for a long time so it'd be difficult to retrain it. But I really want to let it learn the correct way!
Today, I practiced by myself as I remembered the teacher's instruction. It's really difficult!!! I can't do it!!! No more!!!! I just can't do it! I repeat whine.... in my mind. But somehow, partly, a little bit, I could feel comfortable with singing. Just a baby step. I believe I can do it someday! I just started doing it. It's OK for today.
Monday, September 22, 2008
C4 retreat
I joined the choir retreat this weekend. It was a great time for not only music but also for knowing each other, having a peaceful time in a rustic place, cooking hamburgers and hotdogs on the outside grill, walking around and finding pretty flowers and mushrooms...... I had a wonderful time there! I have uploaded more photos on my flickr page so please click this photo and see other photos as well!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
My music life in NY
I came here to work as a volunteer at a nursing home. I never expected I could have such a wonderful musical life during my stay in NY. Before summer, I joined two workshops with The Western Wind. I met excellent musicians there. They brought me other music opportunity.
I had two auditions and passed both of them. So I started to join two choirs from this fall.
One is The C4 Chamber Choir. I met several members at the first Smith Workshop and they asked me to join them. The audition was extremely difficult so I thought I failed it. I was surprised when I got an invitation from them. I'm joining two concerts for this season, in November and February. All pieces are composed by living composers. All are challenging for me. I have to work hard to catch up with them. The next concert's theme is "War and Peace". I want to do my best to make it best! The rehearsal is on Thursday.
Another choir is The Columbia Collegium Musicum. A singer who I met the second Smith workshop asked me to join. The members are mostly students of Columbia University. We are singing Schutz for the next concert in November. The conductor is a young and talented woman. It's a great opportunity for me to sing with young people there. The rehearsal is on Monday and Wednesday.
Other than these, I've been joining a sight singing group on Friday. On weekend, I enjoy singing among church choir. At the nursing home, I play the piano and sing at the chapel service and the Bible study, also I'm starting my own music activity this month.
My life here became not only about communicating with elderly people but also enjoying such a fruitful music life!
I had two auditions and passed both of them. So I started to join two choirs from this fall.
One is The C4 Chamber Choir. I met several members at the first Smith Workshop and they asked me to join them. The audition was extremely difficult so I thought I failed it. I was surprised when I got an invitation from them. I'm joining two concerts for this season, in November and February. All pieces are composed by living composers. All are challenging for me. I have to work hard to catch up with them. The next concert's theme is "War and Peace". I want to do my best to make it best! The rehearsal is on Thursday.
Another choir is The Columbia Collegium Musicum. A singer who I met the second Smith workshop asked me to join. The members are mostly students of Columbia University. We are singing Schutz for the next concert in November. The conductor is a young and talented woman. It's a great opportunity for me to sing with young people there. The rehearsal is on Monday and Wednesday.
Other than these, I've been joining a sight singing group on Friday. On weekend, I enjoy singing among church choir. At the nursing home, I play the piano and sing at the chapel service and the Bible study, also I'm starting my own music activity this month.
My life here became not only about communicating with elderly people but also enjoying such a fruitful music life!
Meeting good people
I met good people on Friday.
In the morning, I had an interview with a head teacher of a school for special kids. She wants volunteers to help her research there. I'm interested in speech pathology so I asked her if I could help her. Unfortunately, our conditions didn't meet well. It takes one and a half hour for me to get there. Also, I need to pay $100 to check criminal records for my finger prints. And I can't get any necessary cost, including transportation fee or meals. She understood my condition and offer me to keep in touch with her and I might help her at home, such as researching good educational materials on the net or at the library and telling her. She explained their excellent education system to me using her past presentation materials. She was energetic, enthusiasm, and very sharp person. I was so glad meeting her.
After the interview, I got on B35 bus from Remsen Ave to Church Av. and Nostrand Av. Taking bus is always difficult for me. I can't catch what the driver's is saying and misses my stop often! This time I got off a few stops earlier. I got off where I thought it was my stop. I couldn't find the subway station. Got lost. I found another bus stop and asked a young woman where the subway station was. She said, "Take the but to get there or walk about 5 blocks." I said, "I just got off the bus now so I think I'll walk. Could you tell me the direction?" She said, "OK we walk!" I was so surprised. I said, "Are you walking with me?" She, "Yes, it's a good exercise! The bus might not come until we get to the station. So we can walk!"
We enjoyed walking together. I talked to her about the interview. She talked to me that she is working for an alternate high school. I told her that I just started to read a YA novel about a boy who is back from reformatory institution to high school life under a supervision. I felt so happy meeting a nice person like her after a tense time at the interview. We exchanged e-mail addresses and promised e-mailing to each other.
What a wonderful time walking with someone who I met just a minute ago!
Then I went to a Salvation Army Store in upper west side, Manhattan to get some warm clothes for the coming winter. I'm joining a choir retreat next weekend so I needed warm relaxing wear until then. My current sleeping wear is short-sleeve T-shirts and shorts. It would be not enough at an up-state place.
The labels on the clothes were varied in colors. The add on the wall said, "50% off for the pink labels!" So I looked for clothes with pink labels and found good ones! Off course, I got 50 % discount for all!
Here are what I got there.
form the left: warm pants for $3.5, a purple sweater for $2, three colored trainer for $2, black fleece full zip jacket for $3.5, and beige fleece blanket for $1.99.
A shop person was nice. He was joking around, saying, "it's $100!" or "You can't get any discount for these!" or something. He made me laugh. I told him I'm working as a volunteer so have no income and I'm really serious about this shopping. His attitude changed and stopped joking around. We had a good chat at the register and said good-bye in a very good mood in the end!
Meeting good people always makes me happy!!!
In the morning, I had an interview with a head teacher of a school for special kids. She wants volunteers to help her research there. I'm interested in speech pathology so I asked her if I could help her. Unfortunately, our conditions didn't meet well. It takes one and a half hour for me to get there. Also, I need to pay $100 to check criminal records for my finger prints. And I can't get any necessary cost, including transportation fee or meals. She understood my condition and offer me to keep in touch with her and I might help her at home, such as researching good educational materials on the net or at the library and telling her. She explained their excellent education system to me using her past presentation materials. She was energetic, enthusiasm, and very sharp person. I was so glad meeting her.
After the interview, I got on B35 bus from Remsen Ave to Church Av. and Nostrand Av. Taking bus is always difficult for me. I can't catch what the driver's is saying and misses my stop often! This time I got off a few stops earlier. I got off where I thought it was my stop. I couldn't find the subway station. Got lost. I found another bus stop and asked a young woman where the subway station was. She said, "Take the but to get there or walk about 5 blocks." I said, "I just got off the bus now so I think I'll walk. Could you tell me the direction?" She said, "OK we walk!" I was so surprised. I said, "Are you walking with me?" She, "Yes, it's a good exercise! The bus might not come until we get to the station. So we can walk!"
We enjoyed walking together. I talked to her about the interview. She talked to me that she is working for an alternate high school. I told her that I just started to read a YA novel about a boy who is back from reformatory institution to high school life under a supervision. I felt so happy meeting a nice person like her after a tense time at the interview. We exchanged e-mail addresses and promised e-mailing to each other.
What a wonderful time walking with someone who I met just a minute ago!
Then I went to a Salvation Army Store in upper west side, Manhattan to get some warm clothes for the coming winter. I'm joining a choir retreat next weekend so I needed warm relaxing wear until then. My current sleeping wear is short-sleeve T-shirts and shorts. It would be not enough at an up-state place.
The labels on the clothes were varied in colors. The add on the wall said, "50% off for the pink labels!" So I looked for clothes with pink labels and found good ones! Off course, I got 50 % discount for all!
Here are what I got there.
form the left: warm pants for $3.5, a purple sweater for $2, three colored trainer for $2, black fleece full zip jacket for $3.5, and beige fleece blanket for $1.99.
A shop person was nice. He was joking around, saying, "it's $100!" or "You can't get any discount for these!" or something. He made me laugh. I told him I'm working as a volunteer so have no income and I'm really serious about this shopping. His attitude changed and stopped joking around. We had a good chat at the register and said good-bye in a very good mood in the end!
Meeting good people always makes me happy!!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
tears and a funeral service
I attended a funeral service last Thursday. It was different from what I've seen before. There were just two of us, Ieva and me, and the dead resident. He died the previous week at the age of 63. We couldn't find any of his relatives to contact with. Last Wednesday, Ieva asked me if I could do the service with her. She said if we didn't do it, then there would be no service at all. I said yes right away.
Thursday morning, we met at the funeral hall at 10:30. Then we were led to a basement room. There were two sofas, two chairs, a small table and his body in a coffin. That was all. We sat there to waited till the scheduled time came, 11:00. Meanwhile, Ieva went out of the room twice to make phone calls to our nursing home to confirm if anybody else would attend or not, 5 minutes or so for each time. During then, I was just alone with the body. When I was a child, I was scared of dead bodies terribly. I hated ghosts stories, haunted houses at amusement parks, being alone in my room at dark.... This time, to my surprise, I was not scared at all, rather I felt peaceful. He was there still. He didn't move, looked like just sleeping. I thought he might have awake soon after taking a nap or so. I felt calm.
At 11:00, we started the service by just two of us. We stand beside the coffin. Ieva started to read the funeral prayer from the Hymn book. We sang a Hymn "Be Still My Soul" together. Ieva stared to read another prayer. I noticed her voice was changing little by little to nasal tone, and weakened. Then I knew she was crying. She couldn't finish the prayer so I read the last line and we said "Amen" at the end together.
I remember Ieva once told me that she can't cry before people. It was just before she got officially retired from the job this June. At that time, as we were walking along the hallway, lots of staff and residents came up to her and gave her sweet comments and hugged her tightly. I was impressed to see the beautiful scenes. And I'm sure she was impressed by everybody's sweet comment, too. Ieva told me that she felt like crying, even got choked up, but no tear comes out. I know you could get rid of a choke-up by crying. Tears wash away your chock-up somehow, even partly. I understood her mind and felt sorry for her.
So I was a bit surprised to sense her crying during the funeral service, at the same time, I was somehow glad with it. I don't know why. Maybe I thought that she could cry before me because we built up our good friendship. I might be wrong but I felt so and somehow glad with it.
Then I sang a Hymn "O Jesus, I Have Promised" solo just for the dead resident. I chose it and practiced it at home the previous night, remembering his smile. As I was singing, I hoped his peaceful life without any pain in the heaven with God.
I felt warm although the body was real cold when I touched him at the end of the service.
We had a good time with him. I thank him to let us have a good peaceful time altogether.
Thursday morning, we met at the funeral hall at 10:30. Then we were led to a basement room. There were two sofas, two chairs, a small table and his body in a coffin. That was all. We sat there to waited till the scheduled time came, 11:00. Meanwhile, Ieva went out of the room twice to make phone calls to our nursing home to confirm if anybody else would attend or not, 5 minutes or so for each time. During then, I was just alone with the body. When I was a child, I was scared of dead bodies terribly. I hated ghosts stories, haunted houses at amusement parks, being alone in my room at dark.... This time, to my surprise, I was not scared at all, rather I felt peaceful. He was there still. He didn't move, looked like just sleeping. I thought he might have awake soon after taking a nap or so. I felt calm.
At 11:00, we started the service by just two of us. We stand beside the coffin. Ieva started to read the funeral prayer from the Hymn book. We sang a Hymn "Be Still My Soul" together. Ieva stared to read another prayer. I noticed her voice was changing little by little to nasal tone, and weakened. Then I knew she was crying. She couldn't finish the prayer so I read the last line and we said "Amen" at the end together.
I remember Ieva once told me that she can't cry before people. It was just before she got officially retired from the job this June. At that time, as we were walking along the hallway, lots of staff and residents came up to her and gave her sweet comments and hugged her tightly. I was impressed to see the beautiful scenes. And I'm sure she was impressed by everybody's sweet comment, too. Ieva told me that she felt like crying, even got choked up, but no tear comes out. I know you could get rid of a choke-up by crying. Tears wash away your chock-up somehow, even partly. I understood her mind and felt sorry for her.
So I was a bit surprised to sense her crying during the funeral service, at the same time, I was somehow glad with it. I don't know why. Maybe I thought that she could cry before me because we built up our good friendship. I might be wrong but I felt so and somehow glad with it.
Then I sang a Hymn "O Jesus, I Have Promised" solo just for the dead resident. I chose it and practiced it at home the previous night, remembering his smile. As I was singing, I hoped his peaceful life without any pain in the heaven with God.
I felt warm although the body was real cold when I touched him at the end of the service.
We had a good time with him. I thank him to let us have a good peaceful time altogether.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
the-end-of-summer weekend!
I had a wonderful time on Labor Day weekend.
On Sunday, I went to the beach with my friends. It was my first time to go to the beach in the past 15 years or so. The weather was perfect. The dark blue Atlantic Ocean and the bright blue sky welcomed us as well as seaguls!
And then we drove to the Howard Beach, where we found an Italian retaurant for dinner. I had calamari pasta with hot sauce. I loved it! We were already full when the dessert was served. I can't believe it but we bobbled it up!!
On Saturday, I saw the West Indian Day Parade in Brooklyn! It was fabulous! I'll show you some of the photos here and if you like, you can visit my flickr page where you can see more photos!
I saw San. Chuck Schumer there!
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