Wednesday, June 4, 2008

a disaster turned out to be a time to know friendship

Great ups and downs this Monday.

At the nursing home, I made a mistake, and was involved in a storm.
We had a pain management meeting in the morning. The participants were myself, a psychology doctor, the helping chaplain Eugenia and several residents. In the middle, I got out of the room to bring some juice to everyone. When I was back, the atmosphere became a kind of grey or dark. From my sitting point, both side of my next people seems to be in the middle of argument. The woman, who sat right side of me, also who I often have lunch with, claimed that the man, who sat left side of me, said to her "you ask the same question again and again" , and that was insulting. I couldn't understand the situation at once. So tried to listen to them for a while, but it got worse and worse. They just cursing at each other. I felt so sad because I like them. I'm very weak with quarrel scenes. Whenever I see people arguing in front of me, it makes me very very down. I'm OK or better when I myself argue with someone but I'm not OK when people in front of me start arguing each other.

Then the doctor started to talk his story, trying to make the situation better, trying to get their attention, trying to calm them down. I tried to listen to him but they didn't. The woman started to speak so loudly. I just wanted to stop her because I like her. Then I gestured my hand toward her to make her listen to his story. Then she got mad at me. "Even she told me shut up, I can't stand it any more." or something she shout out and left the room. I didn't mean to shut her up. But my gesture might have hurt her.

Also it made me think a lot. Everyone has their weakness. I assume her weakness is her short memory. I know she easy to forget things. It's not her fault. It's her symptom which she's been having as she gets older. What if I were her? I must be very upset if someone said, "you ask a same question again and again." , and I didn't remember what I asked the last time....... I must have felt soooooo sad and maybe don't want to admit. I might understand I lost my memories but I wouldn't like to admit the fact...... When people are pointed out their weak spot, they can't help but just get mad at anything. or anyone. I understand. My thoughts went around and around in my mind. Then I couldn't stop crying in front of the people afterward. I'm sorry I shouldn't have cried in that situation but I couldn't stop myself. In the future I too might lose my memories a lot, and might lose my confident by the fact.

The man, who argued with the woman, said to me in the end of the meeting, "Hey, you write my name on your notebook, my name is xxxx, and write that I love you! I'll come to this meeting next time, because of you!" He encouraged me a lot!


After the meeting, it was a lunch time. I approached to the woman first, and apologized. "I'm sorry. I like you." I kissed her cheek, hoping she forgave me. She did forgive me, saying, "I'm sorry too, I was told I asked the same question again and again and I don't know why I got so mad. I don't even remember why I did so..."

It was a good lunch time. We talked about a lot of things together. I told her that I'm writing my blog on the net not to forget what I thought and did everyday, otherwise I forget everything. She agreed with me that writing down what we thougjt or did is a good thing. I told her that it's natural for us to forget things, it's natural.


It turned out to be a good time!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After work, I didn't feel like going straight home. I knew the superintendent came to my apartment during the daytime to break the main bathroom wall because there was a water leek last month in the down stair of my apartment. My landowner told me it not affect my life there, just the main bathroom's wall, not my shower room's wall. I didn't want to meet anyone that day. After crying a lot, I was exhausted. So I went to nearby McDonald and had a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and coffee, reading a book which I bought last Friday. I spend one hour there and got home around 6:30.

I looked at the bathroom. The wall was broken. Nobody was there. Things which were in the bathroom in the morning were put out to the kitchen. Messy but seemed normal for the rest of the rooms. So I went to my shower room and used it. After that I try to flush it, but no water came out!!!! I was so surprised and my face went colorless. I rushed to try other water facilities, tap waters in the shower room or the kitchen. NO WATER!! Oh, NO! I can't wash my face or hands, I can't use the shower room, I can't eat fruits in the fridge because I can't wash them. I called my landowner but just got the answering machine. So I left the message, "I got home now and no water is available in this apartment. I don't know what to do. Please call me back when you are available." I expected to have her call soon. But no call for the first hour so I called her again. No call back..... I started to write my blog, read a book. I was not so sad but helpless, and sorry for myself.

Then around 8:30, I had her phone call finally! She understood my situation right away and called the super. She called my neighbor, too, to ask to let me use their bathroom. The neighbor soon came to my place and said, "Use our place freely, we keep the door open, OK?" 15 minutes later or so, I could talk to the super. He was in Long Island and was so surprised to hear my situation. He didn't know the situation. He thought he stooped the water just in the main bathroom but didn't mean to stop all the water system. He said he would come to my place as soon as possible but took a while. I said I would wait anyway. Meanwhile, my music friend, who lives just a few blocks away, called me and started to say, "Naoko, there is a couch in our house. You can stay here tonight, OK?" I knew my landowner, and also who is my music friend, asked her to let me stay in her apartment. Then again, my neighbor came later and said, "If you need water, I can bring you a bucket of water, so you can wash your face or anything, do you need it? Whenever you need to use our bathroom, you can use it anytime, OK?" 11:15PM, the super finally came and we try to fix it together and made it!!!!! It was 11:30. I said thank you to the super from the bottom of my heart. He must have been so tired after getting done his another job in Long Island, and came to my place.

I made phone calls to my landowner and my friend who offered me to help, also wrote a handwriting letter to the neighbor.

At first, I thought it was a disaster, even a tragedy. But it was not.
I was so impressed, warmed up by all of the friendship. I learned the water is so important. I realized what wonderful people I have. I knew I can't live alone.

I say, it was a great day!
But to be honest, I was..... worn out......!

2 comments:

Nancy C. said...

Hi Naoko,
Thank you for sharing these stories. What a long, exhausting day with so many challenges. Such difficult, emotionally draining challenges ... and yet they all had happy endings!

I learn so much from your experiences and your honest, frank, thoughtful reactions.

love
Nancy

Naoko said...

Hi Nancy,
Thank you for your comment.
I was too tired to make a trip to our church so I decided to be at home today. Are having a good weekend? I hope you are.

I always try to be positive but sometimes I feel like my tensed string cut out suddenly. Have you had this kind of feeling? This weekend was like this. I have a good time reading books yesterday and today. Look forward to seeing you next time, Nancy.