It's Monday. Most of the weekend course participants left yesterday right after the concert, and the five-day course people are coming this evening.
I wrote, "I've been very much enjoying time here." in the last entry. Did I enjoy the time here for the weekend? Honestly, I'm not so sure about it. I don't know why. I tried to enjoy it, and couldn't do it fully, and tried it and couldn't...... I can't explain the reason why. In some sense, I have a feeling of that I couldn't adjust myself to everyone, I'm not sure if I did OK, or I'm not so sure about ...... everything. This time, I could only sometimes feel my voice was mixed with everyone, I couldn't feel good quality of harmony, and then felt I was the one who made it worse.... or I often felt I couldn't play my role well. On the whole, we did our best at the concert, I believe. But for me, I couldn't do my nest at the concert, also I couldn't do my best at our rehearsals.
However, looking back the weekend at the last workshop, I was feeling more insecure. Yes, I stopped the music several times at the concert! It was better this time. Maybe so. Then, the last time, I felt so happy in the end of the five day course. So I believe I'm going to be all right in the end this time. I hope so.
One of my friends, who I met at the last workshop, told me that it needed to be challenging for us to grow up and learn. I'm not sure if I could grow up through this past weekend..... I'll see in the end of this coming weekend. It's really challenging in various respects.
Oh, I want write about one more thing, I was so impressed with other groups' performances, which made me think a lot. What is the great point of someone being able to sightread? Maybe it's convenient for someone who love music to have a sight-reading skill. But it must not decide how musically great the person is. I saw lots of wonderful singers at this workshop as well as the last one. Singers with dramatic voices, beautiful voices, crystal clear voices, resonant voices, excellent expressions, excellent sense of rhythms, and so on. Also I was so impressed with their great improvement between the Friday seminar and the final concert. That must be the most wonderful thing to witness here. I can imagine how hard each facilitator worked for all of us.
Maybe, I should not worry about myself that much. It's going to be all right!
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